Marriage is like a cage; those outside are desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

A true luv is there and always on ur mind A true luv is never unkind.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

Hey, buddy, how late does the band play? Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer.

5. Q: What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A: A roaming catholic

A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost a coin when I texted you, but it's okay because I got you.

Optimist:(love) If you love someone, set her free. Don’t worry, She will come back

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so many faces, so I'll fuck you at different places.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? 5, one to change it and 4 to tell him how much better they could do it.