What is the difference between a saxophone and a sorority girl? You could eat a saxophone if you had to.

# Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

fuck is the only word that is referred as the F-word. It's the one magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

Statistician: If you love someone, set her free If she loves you the probability of her coming back is high, If she doesn’t your relation was improbable anyway.

Ä God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as beautiful.... as "YOU!" .. *

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

Ä If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.