ä Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds !

One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."

love: when intercourse is called making love. lust: all other times. marriage: what's intercourse?

What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain? Gifted.

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do

Q:How do you know when men are about to say something smart? A:It starts with "My wife says..."

Does your name begin with: Y You are sensual and very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating and romantic.