Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
Because they can understand them
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If you open my heart, guess what you are gonna see? It's you. True friends are hard to find so I kept you.
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Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.
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Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...
but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
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HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX
Gardeners do it in the bushes
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When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
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The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
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If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
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"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds."
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"If today is the first day of the rest of your life, then what the hell was yesterday?"
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