If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a goodcook. But the law allows only one wife.

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Truckers do it on the road

Why it's better to be a Woman! We got off the Titanic first.

Why it's better to be a Woman! If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

A man finds his wife in bed with another man. "What are you doing?" he yells. "See," she says to her lover, "I told you he was dumb.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Mondays, I go Fridays.

Rhett Butler: If you love someone, set YOURSELF free, If she asks you why Say you don’t give a damn.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.