I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

• Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear

FRIENDS True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the bassoon recital.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

Does your name begin with: Z You are very romantic but somehow feel that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate and attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.

Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them!

Care is the main ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite separation, distance and time. Care sustains love. Since I can't see you, let my care be with you, friend!