What is the difference between a saxophone and a sorority girl? You could eat a saxophone if you had to.

Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

# If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

# Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way.

If you want to be happy for a day, get a date. Happy for a week, get a lover. Happy till the end, keep me.

No sex with anyone in the same office.

Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

What is the difference between a saxophone and a sorority girl? You could eat a saxophone if you had to.

Why it's better to be a Woman! Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.