"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"

# Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

Man: Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? Woman: Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day...and I just caught one that's so nice and true...It's you!

The third student to try it was the engineering student, who responded, "Well, actually, I'm not sure of your answer either. Let's see... 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ..., 9 is ..., well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it does seem right.

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.

A stupid man always tells a woman he understands her. a really stupid one tries to prove it.

You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy...

love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room. lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room. marriage: when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

Sex has no calories.