For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

Ä Never make love in the garden or in the fields...... For love might be blind but your neighbours not!

# Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.

Schwarzeneggers fans: If you love someone, set her free SHE’LL BE BACK !!!

She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.

5. Q: What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A: A roaming catholic

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

If you open my heart, guess what you are gonna see? It's you. True friends are hard to find so I kept you.

Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says "I've never come this way before"; the second one replies "Must be the cobbles"

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

# Love is when a wife makes coffee for her husband and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.