Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do not enter. or Stop.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

I'm glad friendship doesn't come with price tags. For if it does, I'd never afford someone as great as you.

What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."

Does your name begin with: K You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous and giving , often selfless. You are kind natured and sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train

Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola? It saves time.

I might run out of cute graphics to send you, but I'll never run out of this: care for you.

Psychologist: If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back her super ego is dominant, If she doesn’t come back her ID is supreme, If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the cellists.

Two nuns in a bath. The first one says "Where's the soap"; the second one replies "Yes it does, doesn't it"