What is the difference between a saxophone and a sorority girl? You could eat a saxophone if you had to.

If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !

It is better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

I know how to please a woman. Then please leave me alone.

Does your name begin with: Z You are very romantic but somehow feel that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate and attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.

I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave.