Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that that's not the way Earl (Scruggs) would have done it.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!

How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.

Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

The third student to try it was the engineering student, who responded, "Well, actually, I'm not sure of your answer either. Let's see... 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is ..., 9 is ..., well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... Well, it does seem right.

Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.

Playful: If you love someone, set her free. *If she comes back and if you still love her. Set her free again. Repeat *