Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my friendship with you. I just smiled.

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They say women wear make-up and perfume because they are ugly and smell bad. Q: Why don't men wear make-up and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and smell bad and *don't* know it.

Yeh tera chehra hai yaa kele ka chhilka Jo dekha to dil phisal gaya

I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave.

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."

Man: Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? Woman: Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

# Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying.

MAN.ZIP: Funny program. Expect a laugh when unzipped.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."