My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Ä If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do

Why it's better to be a Woman! Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

• What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!