What is the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants? Both give you a warm feeling, but no one else cares.

Man: Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? Woman: Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

I thank God I'm rich not with money but with people like you. I may not have the most expensive things but I've got a most precious gem… a friend like you.

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."

"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without."

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

Fuck as most words in the English language is derived from German. The word "Ficken", which means to strike.

ä Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds !

I have a pen which is blue, I have a friend which is you. Flowers will die, waters will dry, but our friendship will never say goodbye.

I want a husband who is decent, God-fearing, well-educated, smart, sincere, respectful, treats me as an equal, has a great body, and has the same interests in life as me. Now I don't think that's too much to ask of a billionaire, do you?