Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors.

The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so many faces, so I'll fuck you at different places.

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any inconvenience.

• Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear

Meri jaib main hai kath, meri rifle bhari hui hai Mujhe khauf kya police ka, mera baap mantri hai

One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.

A priest asks a nun if he can walk her back to the convent. She says, "Just this once." Upon arriving, he asks if he can kiss her. She replies, "Well, alright, as long as you don't get into the habit."

Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."

I want a husband who is decent, God-fearing, well-educated, smart, sincere, respectful, treats me as an equal, has a great body, and has the same interests in life as me. Now I don't think that's too much to ask of a billionaire, do you?

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.