How can you tell the stage you're playing on is level? The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

Gul gaya, Gulshan gaya, Gaye honthon ki laaali Ab to peeecha chor de, main ho gaye bachchon waali

love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room. lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room. marriage: when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Does your name begin with: S For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private and sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game. You take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous and giving, often selfless. You are kind natured and sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."

Bill Gates: If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back .. I think we can charge her re-installation fees But tell her that she is also going to get an upgrade.

# There are two kinds of love Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them.

Q: Would a clever woman make a good wife? A: A clever woman won't BECOME a wife!

What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."