What's the difference between women and men? One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness.

• When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open

Most husbands don't like to hear their wives struggling with housework; so they turn up the volume on the television.

There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.

"So much of what we know of love we learn at home."

# Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

Friends are gifts wrapped in ribbons of thoughtfulness and trimmed with kisses and smiles, given by God to stay not just for a day, but for life. Thanks!

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car."

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Ä God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as beautiful.... as "YOU!" .. *

Somnambulist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back, it’s a nightmare, If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.