If love is a dream, then marriage is an alarm clock.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Is this seat empty? Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

It is because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until they speak."

Men's motto: Whoever dies with the most toys wins. Women's motto: Whoever dies with the most toys still dies and gives it all to his wife.

How is lightning like a violist's fingers? Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

Most husbands don't like to hear their wives struggling with housework; so they turn up the volume on the television.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

Some friends are separated by time. Some are separated by differences. Some by distances, some by pride. But no matter how far you are or different we may be, you'll always be a friend to me!