When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

Meri jaib main hai kath, meri rifle bhari hui hai Mujhe khauf kya police ka, mera baap mantri hai

• Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.

I thank the Lord for the gift of friendship where I can be myself and be accepted as I am and for finding a home in the heart of a friend.

Suspicious: If you love someone, set her free. If she ever comes back. Ask her why

A friend is sweet when it is new. And it is sweeter when it is true. But you know what? It is sweetest when it is you.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.