How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that that's not the way Earl (Scruggs) would have done it.
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Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !
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Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
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Q: Would a clever woman make a good wife?
A: A clever woman won't BECOME a wife!
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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An english professor wrote up on the board "woman without her man is nothing" And told his students to punctuate it.
The males in the class wrote "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The Females wrote "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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Man: I would really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.
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5. Q: What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
A: A roaming catholic
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FRIENDS
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere
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