My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gawd, I miss him!

Gusto ko na benta cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko hagis, durugin at tadyakan ang cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko na panakaw to... lam mo ba? Maloloka na ko sa pag-iintay ng text mo... lam mo ba?

Pyar mein kisine Dhoka to kisine kasam khayi hai Hum wo majnoo hai jisne sirf laat khayi hai

• Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

A best man's speech should be like a mini-skirt; short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the bare essentials.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

• A great scientist developed a bra that stops woman's boobs from bouncing while running or nipples showing when wet. His colleagues killed him!

# Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

# Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.

Optimist:(love) If you love someone, set her free. Don’t worry, She will come back