"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not."

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute? A: Prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's

If friends were flowers surely I would not pick you! I'd let you grow in the garden and cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you forever.

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer

• A very sexy n attractive female employee to her boss: Sir, Will you remove something from my breast? Boss:Wow! What? Ur eyes, sir !

"Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever."

What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."

You brighten my day, di ka naman araw. You light up my life, di ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, di ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, di ka naman sabaw. Friend kita, yan malinaw!

Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !