How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax? Add vibrato.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

OUT OF MY CONTROL Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

A man finds his wife in bed with another man. "What are you doing?" he yells. "See," she says to her lover, "I told you he was dumb.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

I always thought loving someone is the greatest feeling, but I realized that loving a friend is even better. We lose people we love, but we never lose true friends.

Ä Never make love in the garden or in the fields...... For love might be blind but your neighbours not!

I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.

I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave.

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Bankers do it with interest