I won't promise to be your friend forever, coz I won't live that long. But let me be your friend as long as I live.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

Why it's better to be a Woman! Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

Time and distance are important between friends. When a friend is in your heart, they remain there forever. I may be busy, but I assure you, you are always in my heart!

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

"If today is the first day of the rest of your life, then what the hell was yesterday?"

One tree can start a forest, one smile can start a friendship. One touch can show you care, one friend can make life worth living for.

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are tellers

How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that that's not the way Earl (Scruggs) would have done it.

It is always the wrong time of month.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."