If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !

Two nuns in a bath. The first one says "Where's the soap"; the second one replies "Yes it does, doesn't it"

F.U.C.K REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!

• Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.

Bill Gates: If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back .. I think we can charge her re-installation fees But tell her that she is also going to get an upgrade.

Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my friendship with you. I just smiled.

Priest: 'I don't think you will ever find another man like you late husband.' Wife: 'Who's gonna look?'

Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors.

Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."

My mom always told me that we could never measure our wealth by money but by our friends. She would surely be glad to meet you and know how rich I turned out to be!