The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

Pessimist : If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours, If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

"So much of what we know of love we learn at home."

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life."

I'd go through anything for you. Let's start with your bank account.

An english professor wrote up on the board "woman without her man is nothing" And told his students to punctuate it. The males in the class wrote "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The Females wrote "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

When god created the men he was only kidding