How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb? Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that that's not the way Earl (Scruggs) would have done it.

Why it's better to be a Woman! We can cry and get off speeding fines.

Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

Love is a word composed of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Is this seat empty? Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down

Woman #1: (holding a large potato in each hand) "These potatoes remind me of my husband's balls." Woman #2: "My goodness, are they that large?" Woman #1: "No, they're that dirty!"

# Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."