What is a friend? She looks out for you, inspires you, laughs with you, cries with you, understands you, guides you and walks with you. That's what a friend is…you.

Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitterballs and a little pot of mayonnaise

I know how to please a woman. Then please leave me alone.

A priest asks a nun if he can walk her back to the convent. She says, "Just this once." Upon arriving, he asks if he can kiss her. She replies, "Well, alright, as long as you don't get into the habit."

I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.

# Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.

Bill Gates: If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back .. I think we can charge her re-installation fees But tell her that she is also going to get an upgrade.

Somnambulist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back, it’s a nightmare, If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.