How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Never get involved with a married man -- you already know he is a liar and a cheat.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Colors may fade, the sun may not shine, the moon may not be bright, heartbeats may stop, lives may pass but our friendship, I'll treasure 'till the day my heart stops.

"Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood."

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? 5, one to change it and 4 to tell him how much better they could do it.

Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

Two nuns in a bath. The first one says "Where's the soap"; the second one replies "Yes it does, doesn't it"

"It's still sexual harassment, even if you enjoyed it."

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do