What is the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants? Both give you a warm feeling, but no one else cares.

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Travel agents do it in lots of different places

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

Isn't your e-mail address [email protected]

Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the cellists.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Men who say they can see through women are missing a lot.

Suspicious: If you love someone, set her free. If she ever comes back. Ask her why

# Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.

Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.