Sex has no calories.

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor? You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

What are the differences between a peso and a friend? A peso is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. A peso loses its value, a friend increases its worth. I don't have a peso but I have you!

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

"To love another person is to see the face of God."