Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap

I may have forgotten to say that I care. I may have failed to open up and share, but though no words have been spoken, my promise of friendship won't be broken.

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

If you want to be happy for a day, get a date. Happy for a week, get a lover. Happy till the end, keep me.

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."

A friend is a push when you have stopped, a chat when you are lonely, a guide when you are searching, a smile when you are sad, a song when you are glad.

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Well, the first student to try to do this was a math student. Hey says "Hmmm... Well, 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, and by induction, we have that all the odd integers are prime."

Behind every successful man, there is a woman ironing his shirts.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Mondays, I go Fridays.