My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

What do you call a bass-clarinetist with half a brain? Gifted.

What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.

ERP Functional Expert: If you love someone, set her free, If she comes back, map her into your system, If she doesn’t carry out a gap fit analysis.

Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra? All those positions!

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.

Does your name begin with: A You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints and you never pass any. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate, as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern. You tend to be very selfish, and not very emotional. You and your needs matter most. Others and their feelings come second. Your choices aren't very good and can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied and egoistic.

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Frank Sinatra does it his way

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."

You brighten my day, di ka naman araw. You light up my life, di ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, di ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, di ka naman sabaw. Friend kita, yan malinaw!