What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

An english professor wrote up on the board "woman without her man is nothing" And told his students to punctuate it. The males in the class wrote "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The Females wrote "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.

When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."

Friends are like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a goodcook. But the law allows only one wife.