When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.

Why it's better to be a Woman! If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship.

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

You're sweeter than glucose.

Somnambulist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back, it’s a nightmare, If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.

"Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds."