At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "

HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX Frank Sinatra does it his way

There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.

You're sweeter than glucose.

I don't regret the things I have done and the things I didn't do. For somewhere along the way I must have done something right coz I ended up with a friend like you.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Does your name begin with: S For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private and sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game. You take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous and giving, often selfless. You are kind natured and sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

Suspicious: If you love someone, set her free. If she ever comes back. Ask her why

What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."