Q:How do you know when men are about to say something smart? A:It starts with "My wife says..."

Keep me as a friend and I will keep you in my heart and lock it up. I'll throw away the key so that no one can take you away from me.

A true luv is gentle and sharing A true luv is never not caring.

• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.

love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room. lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room. marriage: when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher: You'll never need to do it by hand again.

Hey, buddy, how late does the band play? Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer.

fuck is the only word that is referred as the F-word. It's the one magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.

Why it's better to be a Woman! New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

What is the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants? Both give you a warm feeling, but no one else cares.