When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

Why it's better to be a Woman! 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls,

Remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but it's a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.

Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher: You'll never need to do it by hand again.

"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together."

Angoothi Chanak Gaye, Nageena Nikal Gaya Afsos Tera Baap, Kameena Nikal Gaya

I always thought loving someone is the greatest feeling, but I realized that loving a friend is even better. We lose people we love, but we never lose true friends.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man.