"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.

Pessimist : If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours, If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !

Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

4. Q: What is the definition of innocence? A: A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

Priest: 'I don't think you will ever find another man like you late husband.' Wife: 'Who's gonna look?'

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.