Woman #1: (holding a large potato in each hand) "These potatoes remind me of my husband's balls." Woman #2: "My goodness, are they that large?" Woman #1: "No, they're that dirty!"

Is this seat empty? Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor? You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

I know how to please a woman. Then please leave me alone.

Do you ever recall the first day we met? Our first hello? The day we became friends? Well, I do and I will always remember. For that very day, I knew I'd cherish you.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.

# Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.

Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do not enter. or Stop.

# I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.