Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Love is a word composed of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.

# If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

How is lightning like a violist's fingers? Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife? Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

When you harrass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.

I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave.

Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo? They make good paddles.

"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

If you open my heart, guess what you are gonna see? It's you. True friends are hard to find so I kept you.