Man says to his wife : Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife : Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

OUT OF MY CONTROL Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

In my dreams, we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together. Might as well be dreaming forever.

Does your name begin with: S For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private and sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game. You take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous and giving, often selfless. You are kind natured and sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

1. Q: What kind of fun does a priest have? A: None.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute? A: Prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's

Why do men like blonde jokes so much? Because they can understand them

What's the definition of a gentleman? Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't.

Somnambulist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back, it’s a nightmare, If she doesn’t, you must be dreaming.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

They say women wear make-up and perfume because they are ugly and smell bad. Q: Why don't men wear make-up and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and smell bad and *don't* know it.